Mia LaMotte (she/her): What's up, Ryan Ray? Welcome to the brand disruptors. Podcast. How are you today?
Ryan Ray: I am well, thank you. I hope that you are.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): I am. I am. Thank you so much for being here today.
Ryan Ray: It is an extreme pleasure, and let me say, thank you for the opportunity to be on such an illustrious platform.
Ryan Ray: I don't know.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): About all that yet. But hey, we're we're working on it.
Ryan Ray: Hey? We'll put that one on. Put that one on the shelf for it, and then you come back and pull it down and say. Yep, he said it.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): He said it out of your mouth to God's ears. How about that?
Ryan Ray: That's right. That's right.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): That's right.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, so.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Oh, my God, we've been knowing each other. Okay, let me see. I moved here in 2,006. Here is Raleigh, North Carolina folks.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): and I would say we probably met 2012.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, that sounds about right, yeah, yeah, I would say, 2012.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Ikea people what's up.
Ryan Ray: What's up a kia? You live to see a hundred.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Exactly. So we met. We met through a network marketing company. Yes.
Ryan Ray: Yep.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): And then just kind of like been in each other's worlds ever since. Right? You started.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): So tell the people about who you are first, st and then we can kind of jump into like
Mia LaMotte (she/her): how we kept crossing paths. And we're like, you know what? We gotta do something together. So
Mia LaMotte (she/her): let's talk about that.
Ryan Ray: Sure. Yeah. So yeah, around the time we met. Yeah, I was living.
Ryan Ray: Huh? Wow, I'm trying to think, yeah, I think I was back in Raleigh, living back in Raleigh, but it was after a
Ryan Ray: a stint at home in Dunn, North Carolina, the big metropolis, where I had, through circumstances, moved back to in 2,003, and so I had been in Dunn, I guess, for
Ryan Ray: want to say me, I was still in done. I think I was still in done in 2012 I had. I got a
Ryan Ray: do the math there, but I'm pretty sure I was because in 2,003 I was in a near fatal car accident
Ryan Ray: and I was on my way down to Tampa. Florida fell asleep at the wheel
Ryan Ray: late in the night, early in the morning, whatever you want to call it, and ended up running up under a tractor trailer, totally destroyed. The car found myself resting in the median of i. 4, and by the grace of God I was alive, and would have walked away except I broke my leg had never broken a bone in my body, had never spent a night in the hospital as a 27 year old until that accident, and so they airlifted me to Orlando Regional Hospital, put me back together.
Ryan Ray: and that is I won't say what started me on this journey, but it got me intentional about this journey, and so at the time I was living in Raleigh at the time of this accident, selling cars, and actually was driving one of the the corporation's cars when I got in the accident and
Ryan Ray: you know, fairly successful in the sales space across a couple of different industries but anyway, ended up losing everything. You know, at that point. For me, success was this pursuit of stuff right? You know everything I had seen or known or been taught. Is you go to work work hard, had no problem. With that you get paid, you enjoy the weekend and hit, repeat right? And so it was really about
Ryan Ray: this pursuit of success? Right? And so at that point, yeah. Losing it all
Ryan Ray: causes you to change your perspective, right? It causes you to look through a different lens. It also causes you to listen a lot better. And so, after losing it all, moving back to that big metropolis of Dunn, North Carolina, literally starting from scratch. I was fortunate to be introduced to a guy that I wanted to listen to. His name was Mike Lee. I don't know if he knows it today. How many times I've told this story and included his name.
Ryan Ray: but he became a mentor of mine shout out to Mike Lee, yeah. And he had a very successful insurance agency, and I wasn't interested in insurance. But I was interested in success right the right way, and I felt like he knew he knew that. And so, anyway, long story short, I started going to his classes and beginning to hear this idea, this this philosophy called personal development
Ryan Ray: and you know, after 12 years of of school, another 5 and a half years of college, that's a whole. Another story.
Ryan Ray: you know I was nothing I got there was there was nothing I was interested in learning right like science didn't grab me. Math didn't grab me, you know Art didn't grab me, but when he told me that I could focus on becoming a better version of myself
Ryan Ray: like that clicked and I woke up. And here we are, you know, after years of this, this pursuit of becoming that better version of myself.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah, personal development. I guess that's probably what like keeps us like connected because
Mia LaMotte (she/her): are deep into the personal development world. And I don't think that.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): You know, school now, colleges, whatever like
Mia LaMotte (she/her): personal development, wasn't even taught when I when I went to school like they didn't talk about that.
Ryan Ray: We had a class call.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Think it was. It was something seminar, and we all got into the dome I went to. So so we're all in the in the in the Mini dome, and
Mia LaMotte (she/her): it was we we. We studied newspaper articles, we studied the what was going on in the Times, and while you know it's always important. It doesn't really develop you as a person, it doesn't help you become a better person right?
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's history lessons. And the history's important to inform us. But I believe it's really this embracing of a journey of transformation right like, how do you go through life on a daily basis, embracing what happens for us? Right? What is the growth that is necessary for you to now get to the next opportunity. But yeah, I mean, those things aren't taught. I mean that, you know, when I was going through those
Ryan Ray: insurance classes. And of course there was talking insurance and everything, and you know, but he was saying, stuff like, you know, it's not what happens to you that determines your success. It's what you do with what happens to you like. Nobody taught me. I never heard that before like it was about. Oh, man, you got punched in the face, punched back right.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Right.
Ryan Ray: You know. So for me at this point in my life, losing it all car accident, you know, I went from driving at the time. What was, you know, a car that I like to drive to driving a white minivan that my aunt let me borrow right like. So it's like
Ryan Ray: I mean all the things were like, I mean, you know. Look, I'll be transparent. I went from eating whatever I wanted to eat, to looking in my refrigerator, and seeing more white than I did food right? And so you know that messaging was so timely to say, Oh, no, Randy, you're not a you're not a victim. Bro. Like you got to figure out how to be a victor through this. So what is that journey that's necessary. Who do you need to become.
Ryan Ray: to get to the next journey in your life.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Oh, my God, that's so good! So I wanna like those times when we're stripped down to nothing like, I believe, like I don't know about you. But I I believe that we experience 2 things
Mia LaMotte (she/her): right for people who are on the growth journey. We realize that
Mia LaMotte (she/her): nobody's coming to save us right? We got. We gotta figure that shit out ourselves. And then we gotta figure. And then the other thing that we realize is like we absolutely are blessed even when we have more white in the refrigerator than we have. The food.
Ryan Ray: And it's really.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Really hard to explain, unless you go through it with an attitude of gratitude.
Ryan Ray: 100% 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah. Cause I mean, if
Ryan Ray: you know, if you're if the grass is always green.
Ryan Ray: It's hard to appreciate it right, if you know, if you're always getting sunshine like like. Now, I welcome the rain, because what does rain mean? Rain means nourishment. Rain means growth. Rain means prosperity, so I don't complain when it rains anymore, I'm let it come right. That's part of it. But then, when the sun comes back out.
Ryan Ray: Let's go right. And so you're right, you know, and that's why again, as I stated earlier, like embracing those things, you know again. Just staying in that journey, he said. Things like success isn't something you attract.
Ryan Ray: I'm sorry. Success isn't something you pursue. Success is something you attract by the person you become. And so it's in those.
Ryan Ray: you know, dry seasons that we become a different person than we are when everything's just fine, right? Because, as human beings. We we typically will take the easy route, right? We'll typically just be like, Oh, I'm good and get really comfortable, right? And so those challenging seasons in our life. Man, those are when we should celebrate, because if we truly embrace them.
Ryan Ray: they make of us the person we really were put here to become.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Let's talk about that. Because I when when I would hear coaches talk about this, and you know, even sometimes when I say it to my clients. I'm like I.
Ryan Ray: No.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): This. What I'm about to say is gonna make you mad because you probably don't.
Ryan Ray: Yeah.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): How to do this.
Ryan Ray: Yeah.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Let's talk about becoming the person.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Talk about that, because I think that
Mia LaMotte (she/her): some people can take that and misconstrue it, because, you know, when I heard it.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): I thought it meant. Oh, I gotta go spend more money. Oh, I gotta go and do more things.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Didn't get the become part. So talk a little bit about that. And and even how how did you become
Mia LaMotte (she/her): the person that you are today?
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah. So I'll start with this quote. And you know by now, you probably see, I love quotes. So Joanne Van Gogh said.
Ryan Ray: what you're content with. You cannot change
Ryan Ray: right? And I'll take it a step further to say what you're content with, you will not change
Ryan Ray: right? And so this this idea of becoming 1st and foremost.
Ryan Ray: gotta kind of be discontent with your current situation right? Because if you're comfortable and you know we don't. We don't move.
Ryan Ray: change until we feel something
Ryan Ray: right like, you know, we. And and so until we feel discomforted until we're, you know, sick and tired of being sick and tired. Right? Only then will we change if everything's and this is why, like, you know, sometimes I give people a hard time, and they're like, I'm like, How you doing, man, I'm good. I'm okay. And I'm like, are you?
Ryan Ray: And then they pause right? Because that just rolls off our tongue. Right? Yeah, I'm okay. And really, what we've done is we've said I've just kind of settled
Ryan Ray: for the way my life is, and I'm good with it. Well, that person probably won't become much more than that, because they are content
Ryan Ray: right? And until you become discontent with your finances or discontent with your health, you know. When do people change their diet and lifestyle right after they have a heart attack? Right? And and so, and then sometimes people live outlive other people because they made the lifestyle changes because they got content, discontent with that situation.
Ryan Ray: And so when when I began to understand that if you know and if you want to change some things in your life, you got to change some things in your life. And I did. I wanted to change some things in my life, and nobody was coming to save me right? It wasn't.
Ryan Ray: It wasn't up, it wasn't. It wasn't the Government like waiting on who becomes the next President. It wasn't. What is their tax rate going to be? It wasn't. What are the interest rates? It wasn't, you know, who's going to offer me a job. It was like none of those things. I had to take responsibility for the results in my own life. Right? And I think when you're content. You just kind of let the day happen to you
Ryan Ray: when you get discontent and really want to change, you go, happen to the day. And so when I begin to embrace that mentality, that if it's to be, it's it's truly up to me. Then the question became, how
Ryan Ray: right? Because it's 1 thing to say, I want change. I want different. I embrace that. I'm up for the challenge. But then, now the question becomes, how and a lot of people often ask that. And I believe the how is a process of deprogramming
Ryan Ray: right? A current way of thinking, a current mindset right? That content mindset that comfort mindset. You got to deprogram that you got to turn that off and say, Okay, how do I begin to embrace being uncomfortable? Right? How do I begin to throw away. You know, if what you've been doing isn't working.
Ryan Ray: you gotta embrace. I need some new information.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Absolutely.
Ryan Ray: So that's that reprogramming, you know. You got to throw your ego out the window right? You got to throw, you know all the the beliefs. Right? That's a whole. That's a whole. Another. Podcast, yeah. So the beliefs out the window and say, Okay, what is the
Ryan Ray: new programming that I need to embrace and then get about that. And that's a function of reading, listening who you associate with right taking this journey, you know we said it earlier, right? Oh, there's a whole lot of people I ain't talked to lately, right, you know, if you ain't. If you ain't rocking with me right here in this circle in this moment, you know. Sorry you probably haven't heard from me, and that's a part of this journey.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Absolutely and and know that it's okay. So there were a couple of things that you said, I wanna kind of remember.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): like it's in the reading and the going to the conferences and going to the places where the people are that you get to know the what, because now you're surrounding yourself with the folks who are doing the things that you want to do, or they're being the people that you want to be. So now you get to see what that looks like.
Ryan Ray: Yes.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Right because you can't.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): you already know. So most of us have been on some kind of diet or some kind of exercise regimen. Right. You know we're reporting this at the beginning of the year. Most people have already quit.
Ryan Ray: Already. Yep.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Right. We already know that we gotta eat a certain way. And we're not gonna talk about the American food system, because that's that's a whole. Another.
Ryan Ray: Oh, another, Podcast.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): But we also know that you gotta move your body.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): and most of us to your point about comfort, like most of us, will stay in our discomfort because it's too uncomfortable to get up and go outside for a walk, or it's too uncomfortable to not have that 3rd piece of chicken right.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): And so, being around folks that hold you.
Ryan Ray: Yep.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): And hold themselves to a higher standard.
Ryan Ray: Yes.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Absolutely is the way for you to become who you were meant to be right.
Ryan Ray: 100, you know. I like to use the example around that to your point, like who you hang out with the association, the events, the networking, the relationship building, like all of that, is intentional activity. Right? Because you're not, because with that become is becomes the inspiration
Ryan Ray: right? And the belief that wow, man! If they can do it, I can do it, too. I remember one of the very 1st major large conventions I went to. It was a network marketing convention in Greensboro, and at this time I'm just this young 18 year old shy kid, you know, I was always in the background, you know, took me a long time to get to this point. That's the
Ryan Ray: part of the transformation, right literally. And so I'm at this conference.
Ryan Ray: And this guy comes on stage, and you know, not not from a judgmental perspective, but like his clothes didn't fit like he didn't look the part right. He he couldn't hardly put a sentence together, but he qualified to be on this stage right? He was successful, and I was like.
Ryan Ray: if this dude can do it.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): But right.
Ryan Ray: I can do it right. So it was in this event that the belief and the inspiration sparked. And you know. And so now, talking about community. Here's the example. I wanted to get to weight watchers, right? So you know, talking about health here a little bit top of the year, you know, if if you if you survey a hundred people.
Ryan Ray: what is the formula to lose weight, right? 90% are going to get it right and say something like, well, you got to burn more calories than you take in right, and if you do that consistently over time, you'll start to shed pounds. Well, if we know that.
Ryan Ray: why is weight watchers, a billion dollar company.
Ryan Ray: right? It's the community and the inspiration. It's not that they're telling people to do something that they already know how to do. As you said, most of what we know how to do. If we would just do that, our lives would turn around tremendously, but in our own self, in our own comfort we won't. So that's why we are made to be in community.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah, we are made to be in community, and we are the only ones that can hold ourselves accountable. I read in the 12 week, the 12 week year. This book that we're you know
Mia LaMotte (she/her): that
Mia LaMotte (she/her): you can't hold anyone. You can hold a baby, you know. You can hold. You can hold some money in your hand, but you cannot hold another individual. You can't hold another individual accountable right? You can only account for yourself. And so when we it's it's almost like the nobody's coming to save you. Thing.
Ryan Ray: Right.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): You realize, like your life is your responsibility, and you get to hold yourself accountable
Mia LaMotte (she/her): like. Only you can get up and go for that walk.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): I can't do it for you. Ryan can't do it for you, and the same thing around money. Right? So let's let's get into the money. Because that's why I got you here today. Right? Let's talk about.
Ryan Ray: Do it.
Ryan Ray: Let's do it.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): So you, you help people with their finances. How do you do this? What? What is your actual title, sir?
Ryan Ray: So that's been a journey so right now we've landed at lifestyle and financial architect.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Alright. So you help people build wealth and lifestyle.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, but it. But it starts with the design right? Because again, this goes back to mindset right? And and you know, all of this is, you know, language messaging right? But you know, if you think about okay, I want a house right? Well.
Ryan Ray: the last stage of the house is, of course, the core and all of that. But the actual house is a builder, right? Someone that's framing the house well before you can frame and build the house before you can build wealth.
Ryan Ray: you got to 1st design it right. That path. What is it that you want? Because if you don't know what you want. Then how do you go? Build it right, and just go. Say, you know what Mr Builder? Brian Holmes? Mr Builder, I want a house, and they say, well, I don't care. Just build me a house.
Ryan Ray: Oh, okay. And then you show up 3 months later, and it's probably not what you wanted.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Second.
Ryan Ray: And so so you need the architect to design the plans for the house you want to build. And so as a financial architect, there's products and services and other experts. I feel like that.
Ryan Ray: And I tell you why I got here in a second that that help you build it.
Ryan Ray: But I realized that a lot of people don't know what they want to build. And so I want to kind of come and be that front end and say, Okay, well, let's talk about what you want to build. It's like weight, like losing weight, like you know what to do. You need somebody just kind of help inspire you to that, so that the lifestyle and financial architect is saying, Okay, well, what is the life you want to live
Ryan Ray: like? Nobody really asking that question. We don't get asked it in school. We don't get asked it at, you know the dinner table. We don't get asked it at church. Right? So what is the lifestyle you want to live? Because at the end of the day, isn't that what we're really working for? Right like, you know we got an eternal goals. But while we're here we want to live a particular lifestyle, and most people
Ryan Ray: again.
Ryan Ray: they've settled right. Somebody else is designing their day, and what I want to help people do is design their day design the lifestyle they want to live. And now there's a financial.
Ryan Ray: There's a number that is required for you to live that lifestyle, and I want to help you design that, and then building it becomes simpler, right? I won't say easy. But once you know what you want to build, and you're clear about what you want to build.
Ryan Ray: we could we put the blueprint together.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah. And and the blueprint is like so important. And I think that
Mia LaMotte (she/her): a lot of us feel like
Mia LaMotte (she/her): we either we know what to do.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): If we knew what to do we'd be doing it. So let's let's talk about knowing. Let's talk about that.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): So there's a difference in knowing something and actually embodying something. You want to talk to the folks about that a little bit.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah, I will. Yeah. So
Ryan Ray: we got to kick the door in with that. So one of my mentors told me this this a long time ago. It made a ton of sense, and it really, truly like humbled me right just through the ego. And this knowing out the window, he said. 1st of all.
Ryan Ray: we don't know what we don't know
Ryan Ray: right? And you got to embrace that.
Ryan Ray: A lot of what we know we've forgotten. Right? So this goes back to your point earlier, like a lot of what we know. Like we won't, we don't do. And so we don't know what we don't know a lot of what we know we've forgotten.
Ryan Ray: and a lot of what we know ain't so
Ryan Ray: right. So this goes back to the reprogramming piece, right. So I think that's important, because sometimes it's hard to embody it.
Ryan Ray: If you know within your gut and your true self, it's not true.
Ryan Ray: right? So a lot of the things that we're really trying to embrace and buy a lot of what we know just ain't so
Ryan Ray: right. A lot of what we know is somebody else's beliefs. It's old like, you know, this American dream is a lie, right? Like, you know. Say, like, there's so many things that we believe and hold true and dear, and we're trying to go get it. And it ain't true like it's a lie. We're chasing a lie. So that's the 1st thing is, you got to come within yourself. Align with yourself.
Ryan Ray: What is truth right now? There's there's your truth, and then there's the truth, right? That's another conversation, but once you identify what the truth is. Now, I think you're in a better position to embody it
Ryan Ray: right, because I think a lot like you said, a lot of people don't take action because they don't know what to do. I think a lot of people also don't take action because they don't believe what they're being told to do is the right thing to do right. And so now it becomes this journey of exploration, and having great coaches and people to help you identify what is the truth and then embodying it means
Ryan Ray: like, I'm I'm owning it. I'm I'm it. I'm taking it on it, is it is I? Am he right? And you are she it is. I am embracing this thing, and nothing on the fringes
Ryan Ray: can't disturb that.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): So how do you get people who are who
Mia LaMotte (she/her): have a lack of a wealth consciousness?
Mia LaMotte (she/her): They don't really. Life is lifing them. They're not living their lives like. What is your process to help them to get from?
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Let's just say, you know, negative to to thriving, to living the life that they they want to live. How do you help them?
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah, that's that's a that's a tough one. I mean.
Ryan Ray: because everybody comes from so many different walks of life. And you know, one of the things out I like to say 1st and foremost is like.
Ryan Ray: and and this is where the reading and the associated with other people comes, because so many times we feel like Whoa with me, right? Like nobody's situation or circumstances or past, is as bad as mine, right? And if everybody you're around situation is a little better than yours, and you've never been exposed to someone who had it worse. Then that's a belief you have. It's not true
Ryan Ray: right, but it's a belief you have. It's not the truth, it's your truth. And so.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Plays over and over and over in your brain, right? And it keeps you there. Yeah.
Ryan Ray: It keeps you there. Yeah. And so I think some of that early stage work. And again, it just depends on where somebody's at. So I think that 1st one is like you got to remove some of those untruths right that people have in their head and share some of those stories again. Get this person to reading
Ryan Ray: that that deprogramming process that I talked about earlier. You got to begin to to help them reshape some of their beliefs and ideas and and their truths. And again, that's a function of reading. But you know, on a I guess a lesser of that
Ryan Ray: side is is dreaming right? Because in essence we're either running to something or we're running from something. You know. I can only tell from my personal experience.
Ryan Ray: You know, when I met this mentor of mine. Yeah, literally broke, busted and disgusted, had nothing to the point. That
Ryan Ray: you know I wrecked that car. I still had my truck that I that I liked, and I won't say it wasn't my dream truck, but I was good, but after I lost it all no, job couldn't walk right? I'm on crutches, couldn't go out and perform. And I basically just accepted. This is this is where I'm at. I got to go through this process. Anyway. You know the the bill collectors don't care what your situation is.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Sure.
Ryan Ray: Bills keep coming right. And so I said, You know what I'm I'm I'm just. I'm this is just where I'm at. I literally called my mom, I said, Meet me up at the Ford dealership.
Ryan Ray: and she was like, What's up? I was like, just meet me there. I got in the truck. I drove it up to the Ford dealership, walked inside, handed them the key, and said, Y'all can have this back.
Ryan Ray: I walked out and got in my mom's car right? So like I repoed it myself right.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): You're like full transparency.
Ryan Ray: Right like. And so I just want people to understand where I was, because at that point
Ryan Ray: I couldn't dream. My mentor used to say, Ryan, like you need a dream right? And I could think about at the time what I wanted for my parents like I could think about everybody else and what I wanted for them. He was like, no, Ryan, you got to have a dream for yourself, right? You got to have something that you embody enough
Ryan Ray: to get uncomfortable. That will get you up in the morning. That will keep you up late at night, and I don't buy into all of that anymore. But anyway, but that will drive you right and so. And I was like, man like, I don't know what I want like, I just want
Ryan Ray: to not be broke.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Do you feel like? Do you feel like you didn't know what you wanted? Because it was so hard for you to dream from that
Mia LaMotte (she/her): place where you were in your life like. I don't believe that I could have what I want, so I don't want a dream.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, that's where I was at. I like it. So to that point I said, you know, and I often joke and say, you know. People say they just want their ends to meet.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): And I used to be like, I just want mine to get close enough to wave right like.
Ryan Ray: I just
Ryan Ray: want to get back to 0. Bro, like, I'm tired of the bill, I mean, let me go on and open up the book. Open up my books, you know. I graduated college with like 11 credit cards maxed out, you know, $10,000 worth of debt wasn't a ton of debt. You know, I had $30,000 worth of student loan debt. So I'm probably at this time only
Ryan Ray: I graduated in 99. This was 2,003. So I'm only 4 years out of college, right? So I still got all the debt I done bought this brand new truck like I was living what I thought was the life, but that life was a life of debt, which is why I do what I do. And so, anyway, going back. I was trying to. I was running from something right. This is my whole point. I hadn't got to the place where I could see what I wanted to run to. So at that point in my life I was running from the debt.
Ryan Ray: from the discomfort, from the disgusted, from the you know they were, you know, all the credit cards was in my mama name well, in my mama's address, right? And because that was my address when I applied for them, so they will call in the house. And you know they have cell phone back then or use my home phone number. Right? Well, you gotta do something about these people.
Ryan Ray: I was running from something.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Right, mama was like, don't you had a people calling my house?
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah, yeah.
Ryan Ray: That's where I was. So anyway, all that to say, how do you get somebody moving? It's identifying. Okay, are you at a place like, what? What's the what's the chase right like, are you? Are you running from something like something's chasing you? Or are you chasing something? And when you can identify those things because you got to meet people where they are
Ryan Ray: right? And so if it's that something's chasing you, I what is the discipline? What? What do we gotta do to get you out of this situation, so that now you beginning to develop
Ryan Ray: some freedom right to be able to now chase something.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): So let's talk about the chase, and let's talk about what it really means to like.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Peel back the layers and determine
Mia LaMotte (she/her): for yourself like, what is it that you really want? Because now you know, for me, like, when I was in the relationship that that ended like 3 years ago, like I was miserable in the relationship. And so I bought a bunch of stuff.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Right. I was filling it up with stuff, clothes, shoes, and whatever.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): And then I realized, like, I'm not still fulfilled. So how do you help people to understand what's gonna fulfill them so they'll know what dream to go for.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah, that's so good. You know, one of the things that I'm realizing
Ryan Ray: like, more and more, as I, you know, really kind of dig deep into like. What is this next phase of work for me? Right? What is my next journey of of influencing the lives of other people in in this lifestyle, financial architect space. And it's I think it boils down to values. Even in our last 10 X class, right? Like
Ryan Ray: the work that I did 10 years ago. How long ago was that
Ryan Ray: you and you and Tracy
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Oh, we're trying to get you to come from out back.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah, wasn't it?
Mia LaMotte (she/her): 10 years ago? Yeah.
Ryan Ray: So the work, you know, we did about 10 years ago, and the exercise was like values, like, what are your values? I went through this values exercise, and, you know, growing up well, not growing up. But once I got to like college and then graduated college and was in the workforce. I started realizing, and and although felt guilty, and we'll talk about why, but felt guilty about
Ryan Ray: like something about just
Ryan Ray: traditional job. Nothing wrong with that right. I can make that absolutely clear. It's all about results, right? It's about your values, right? Because until you really understand your values, you'll do whatever. And so I was like man, just all these different things that
Ryan Ray: that are
Ryan Ray: other people's truths that we should be doing, and the way we should live our lives and the way we should behave, and the way we should earn an income. And the way we should do this and do that.
Ryan Ray: I was like it just felt so uncomfortable to me right, and I carried that as kind of guilt for a long time.
Ryan Ray: But on, you know, kind of behind the scenes. I was embracing it and doing my own thing and and running with it right. And what I realized is that my core value is freedom.
Ryan Ray: right? That I I want the freedom to move. How I want to move right? That's finance, that's time. But you know you need money to have the time right. And so they go hand in hand. So anyway, to your question.
Ryan Ray: like, How do you help people to understand like what they should be chasing? I think it's a very underestimated process, and it's to truly understand, like, what are your values like? Who are you
Ryan Ray: to your core? And and and then from there. It helps you to identify. You know the the, what, the what you should be chasing. So for me, I know to have the time freedom that I want. There's a financial number attached to that that I gotta have coming in that takes care of the bills, takes care of the family right? And then that
Ryan Ray: that margin creates for me a lifestyle. Right? And so, yeah, I think it's it's it's values and and understanding what your values are, because otherwise to your point, like
Ryan Ray: on the surface, it's the car. It's a bigger house, right? It's more shoes. It's more clothes, right? It's a luxury clothes. You can never turn it off right if you're if you're chasing the stuff, and and you don't want to get to the top of that mountain right? Hundreds of thousands of dollars in and realize. Oh, this isn't the mountain I really wanted to be standing on top of right.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah, it's it's it's something. When, like, I've lost both of my parents and
Mia LaMotte (she/her): my mom didn't hold on to a whole lot of stuff like she got rid of stuff, so it was pretty easy to to manage what what it was that she had left.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): and my dad, on the other hand, was the total opposite.
Ryan Ray: Hmm.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): And my dad had acres of land with stuff.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): and and what I realized. And thank you. Thank you, brother, for clearing the land and doing what you did with it. But
Mia LaMotte (she/her): the the point is, this is like, I saw this meme a couple days ago that said, we spend the 1, st 2 thirds of our lives accumulating stuff.
Ryan Ray: In the last 3rd trying to get rid of it.
Ryan Ray: And yeah.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): It. It's so powerful. And now that I'm in this space and it's like, you know, I recognize that it's not about the things right. I want.
Ryan Ray: At all.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): It's it's about becoming who you came to the planet to be. It's about becoming the best version of you to to be of service to the to the world, right? Whatever that looks like. And it's it's not about the designer wardrobe, which that's fine, right, if that's what you want. But it's so much easier, and you do have so much more freedom when you don't have all that stuff.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah, it does. And you know, to kind of elaborate on on your question, like the how, because once you can get and then, like that values exercise, it ultimately comes down to
Ryan Ray: like a life of service right like, how do I serve? Other people, like most of our gifts, are to be lent to other people, right to solve problems, to to help uplift other people. And so once you really dig deep. And who am I right a lot of times that's going to come back to something in a service, a giving, a problem, solving opportunity. But then the other piece is helping people to now develop what I like to call long term vision.
Ryan Ray: right? Cause we live so much in the day, right? And we we're just. And that's why, we're such consumers. Right? You know, we get into that.
Ryan Ray: But but the long term vision says, Okay, well, what do I? Wanna
Ryan Ray: that? What? What do I want that 2 thirds, that what that final 3rd of my life to look like right mostly, if you ask people how you plan on living to be 80, 90 years old. Yeah, okay. Well, when you get there, what will you wish you had done today?
Ryan Ray: Right? But most of us are living today. And when we get over there we're looking back, saying, Oh, man, I sure screwed it up right. And so for me a lot of times. The conversation is an awakening to. Okay, let's go over there. Let's go to that. 80, 85, 60, 65. What is that? You know? And look back. And now, what do you need to do today
Ryan Ray: to create that life because you won't get to do it over right, like most people
Ryan Ray: at that stage of their life have failed
Ryan Ray: right? And and they didn't plan to.
Ryan Ray: Right. It's like I didn't go. I didn't go to college and say, man, I can't wait to graduate with 10 credit cards and $10,000 worth of debt and $30,000. That wasn't my plan. But that's what happened. So most people, most of us financially and help whatever we aren't planning to fail.
Ryan Ray: But we also haven't taken the time to have a plan right?
Ryan Ray: And so, anyway, when we get people to think over there. Then that changes your behaviors today.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Awesome. Yeah. Yeah. So you have
Mia LaMotte (she/her): a couple of things that you can offer the folks to help them with this? Right? So what's the what's the one thing that they can do today?
Ryan Ray: Yeah. The one thing you could do today is go out to Ryan ray
Ryan Ray: free. 5 day ecourse. So.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): In the show notes, folks.
Ryan Ray: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So there is a 5 day. Just kind of
Ryan Ray: invitation to then take this for a week.
Ryan Ray: Financial focused journey with me. And in this program
Ryan Ray: we do exactly what we just did right. The 1st thing we want to do is understand, like I call it your dreams versus your dreads. Right like, what are you dreaming about doing? What are you dreading right? And and again, those become the things that push you. But from there, then we're going to just kind of take an analysis of where you are right. It's kind of that. The blueprint right. What is? Where are you now like? Where do you live now? It's like a GPS, right? It's
Ryan Ray: you know, you know, where you want to go, where the dreams. But before the GPS can calculate where you want to go, it 1st must know where you are.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): You gotta put in a destination and you gotta.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, they're pretty.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Are exactly.
Ryan Ray: I don't know where you are in order for it to then calculate where you want to go. And ultimately, that's what our faith focus program, does. It helps you to identify where you want to go. Where are you now? And now let's let's get about getting you. There.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah, so you have that. And then in April of 2025,
Mia LaMotte (she/her): what you got going? Actually, you have something in March, and you have something in April.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, what's that?
Mia LaMotte (she/her): What's happening in March. And then what's happening in April? And both of these are in Raleigh right.
Ryan Ray: Both of these are in Raleigh, so last April.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Okay. Cool.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, Raleigh, North Carolina, North Carolina. So just a little context. Last year, I
Ryan Ray: birthed this model called, Get serious seminars, and we launched it with an event last April. Had my good friend and mentor, Dr. George Frazier, shout out to Dr. Frazier, Come to Raleigh, North Carolina, and hang out with us, and just drop some jewels, drop some dime on us. And so that was a great event. And so the whole idea or premise of get serious really comes from, you know, on this side of Covid.
Ryan Ray: And I used to say, while we were in the midst of Covid, like it feels gloomy now, but wait until it's over right, because so many people have continued and remained sheltered in place, like so many people, have remained, you know in the house, you know, if you look at churches, if you look at community service organizations, if you look at events like we're not filling them up like we were filling them up. Pre Covid. Now, we lost a lot of people.
Ryan Ray: There's still a lot of people around right. But I think we've just gotten comfortable. Right? Mia, we've gotten content. We've we've checked out right? We're on the sidelines watching everybody else play the game and so get serious is all about.
Ryan Ray: Get back in the game.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah.
Ryan Ray: So what area of your life do you need to get serious about? We've talked about a few of those, is it your finances? Probably right, you know, if you look at the statistics. Is it your health? Probably, if you look at the statistics.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): If you live, if you live in America. Yes.
Ryan Ray: If you live in America. And so this weekend in April 25, th through the 27, th we are hosting a get serious
Ryan Ray: empowerment weekend, the get serious serious advantage, economic empowerment weekend.
Ryan Ray: You want to be there. In this event we are going to launch it with a vip event on Friday, a day of content on Saturday, a brunch on Sunday. But the goal is to get people off the sidelines, get on the court, get in the game check in. Be a be the point, guard of your life
Ryan Ray: right like. Stop letting. Don't stop being the referee in other people's lives right? Stop being a fan in other people's lives, and be the point. Guard in your own life. That is what this is all about.
Ryan Ray: And then, in March, on March 15, th the prelude to the empowerment weekend. We are having a women's brunch, a get serious women's brunch. This will also be about economic help. You know, family empowerment. We got a phenomenal speaker coming in. We can't roll out yet, but we will. But march 15th also in Raleigh. You want to be at
Ryan Ray: this event. I guess if you're a lady you should be at this event, maybe we'll do something downstairs for the men and wait on y'all to come down and be like, Woo woo.
Ryan Ray: But anyway, yeah, you want to get you want to get dialed in to just get serious movement.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah, yeah, cause cause it, it is serious. And it's not that serious, right? Like, life is serious, like, we have to get serious. So it doesn't have to be that serious.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's really about attentionality. Right? Because, like, you're right, you, you're gonna pay
Ryan Ray: right at some point, right? You can pay. Now, yeah, you got a price to pay right? You're gonna you're going to pay a price.
Ryan Ray: You could pay it now or you pay it later, right, and you know one of my good
Ryan Ray: off-site mentors, Darren Hardy, publisher of Success magazine says, if you're hard on yourself today.
Ryan Ray: then life will be easy.
Ryan Ray: But if you're easy on yourself today.
Ryan Ray: then life will be hard, right? And so all we're saying is, get serious like, what if you took the next 3 to 5, depending on how old you are. 10 years of your life, right? And got really, really see? Like with technology and the advances and just all the opportunities we have today like it don't take 40 years anymore.
Ryan Ray: Right? Like, what if you really got in the game for the next 3, 5, 10 years, and really got serious like, what would that create for the next 1020, 30, 40 years of your life? But at some point you got to get in the game. You got to pay the price. If you don't pay. If you don't focus on your health now, you're going to pay for it later. Right? If you don't focus on your finances now, it's going to be a struggle later. So you might as well get serious today about the things that you need to get serious about. And again, it's really more about intentionality, because we're going to have a lot of fun
Ryan Ray: right? It's gonna be a fun filled weekend. But we're also going to be intentional.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Absolutely awesome. Yes, I can't wait.
Ryan Ray: Yes, yes, I can't, either. It's so exciting.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Something. I'll be doing something for the.
Ryan Ray: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Me is gonna be. She's a rock star. She's 1 of our event host. I didn't even really told you that yet. But you're gonna be. You're you're dialed in.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): An event host. Y'all.
Ryan Ray: She's event host. She's helping us to plan this thing. Yeah, me? And I've been rocking for quite some time now, you know, since 2,012. There was just an automatic connection, you know. And again, I think it's around this. But we know it's around this journey of personal growth transformation, you know, if I can toot me as Horn, you know, for all of her listeners.
Ryan Ray: she's done the work. Guys like she's not just show she's not one of those who figured out how to, you know, do a podcast. And it's just telling people. Stuff like me has done the work. You know she has invested lots, thousands, tens of thousands, maybe even. I haven't seen her books, but a lot of money in the person that you're seeing come through today. This hasn't been by accident. This has been a intentional journey
Ryan Ray: of personal growth and transformation, and it's just beautiful to witness. Mia, so proud of you thank you for bringing me allowing me along on this journey, and I'm excited about all the other things we get to create together.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Me, too. Me, too. Well, I don't even know what to say after that. I mean I don't know. I don't know how how you didn't left me speechless here today.
Ryan Ray: Well, you know. Hey? Listen. We had to give give flowers where they're due. Yeah, I mean, I can keep going if you, if you really enjoy.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): No, this is your interview. We're gonna ask you.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Y'all come out to the Economic Empowerment Conference that gets serious putting on like, seriously right. You don't have to be from Raleigh like we're taking folks from all over the State. We're taking folks from all over the country, and you know. I know you have been to Mexico or somewhere else. Right? You've gotten on a plane to go party like get on a plane to get serious about your life.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, yeah, yeah, invest in yourself. Right? Like, that's that's part of it, too. Like, you know, that's the
Ryan Ray: that's the model of that, you know, reprogramming right? It's an investment into yourself to your point. We invest in everything else. Men. We invest in a lawn, mowers, cars, women choose pocketbooks, clothes like we invest in stuff right? But the most valuable asset you have is not your house right? It's not your car. It's not the land you own. It's not your crypto wallet, it's not your stocks, it's not your apple, it is you right, and the more you invest in yourself.
Ryan Ray: the the more value you get to add to everything else in your life. Right? It's what the flight attendant says on the plane.
Ryan Ray: You put the mask on yourself first.st Now you could save the whole plane if nobody else did that right. And so how? What does that look like? It looks like, you know, financially, it looks like, you know. Put just put 10% away of your of your earnings, right? Of your income, you know, into some account. Do it automatically. And then that becomes, you know, most of us say, man, I would love to invest right, and I've done this before I'm in a room
Ryan Ray: full of people. Say, raise your hand if you want to invest all the hands, go up. I say, okay, great. I got a I got a I got an investment that will pay you back 10 grand a year from now, if you can write a check for a thousand dollars, right? Would you say? That's a pretty good investment.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Yeah.
Ryan Ray: Pretty good investment, all right, and then I say, keep your hands up. If you can write the check.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Right.
Ryan Ray: 80% of the hands come down right? So there's so many opportunities out there. But opportunities require preparedness.
Ryan Ray: Yeah, right? And so now, if you really want to go through this growth and transformation process, you've got to get prepared for when the opportunities come right. So when Mia is offering an incredible program. And you can say, man, I would love to do that. And then she says, Yep, and then here's the price you're like, Oh, you click off of this zoom right like you. You didn't prepare yourself. And so that investment into yourself
Ryan Ray: needs to be intentional like, that's something to get serious about. So when the opportunities come, the investment, you know the crypto. If you're playing that game, the the stock right? This, the conference. Right? Yeah. Start. Now putting some money away for the conference. So, like all of these opportunities, we there is about, there's this, we're in this season now. The next 25 years called the the Great Wealth transfer
Ryan Ray: right? They're predicting 84 trillion dollars of wealth will be transferred from the baby boom generation right to these next generations. Right? They worked hard. They built that wealth. They bought the land, they bought the homes, they bought the stocks. Now they're they're moving on either by death or retirement, or just signing everything over, whatever the case may be. So there's no lack of opportunity.
Ryan Ray: But there is a lack of preparedness, and so get in the game, decide what it is you want. What is the price that you gotta pay to have it and go pay the price right if it's financially time, heartache, getting out your comfort zone like, what is the price you need to pay for what it is that you want.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): All right. Well, with that, I mean.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Thank you.
Ryan Ray: You're welcome.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Thank you for being here. Thank you for dropping all these wonderful gems. All of this stuff will be in the show. Notes, guys. The conference information, Ryan's course. All of that's gonna be available to you. In the show notes. And so with that, we're gonna sign off and say. Thank you, Ryan, for being here, and.
Ryan Ray: Thank you, mia, I appreciate you.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): To be in your world and to be a part of the get serious seminars.
Ryan Ray: Thank you. We're we're glad to have you at a part of it. Keep disrupting.
Ryan Ray: We love it. We love watching it.
Mia LaMotte (she/her): Absolutely.
